“Dune: Part Two” - Sand-witches.

It dawned on me that Dune: Part 2 is the first of two movies this year that will feature sandworms. I’m certain that Dune: Part 2 will be the better one, though that isn’t saying much considering the second one is Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. No, that isn’t a typo, that’s really the title. Apparently, whoever came up with that title isn’t aware that it takes saying Beetlejuice three times to summon Beetlejuice. Or…they’re TOO aware, and they know exactly what they’re doing. What was I saying? Oh yeah - sandworms.

The moment in Dune: Part Two when Paul Attreides (Timothee Chalamet) rides a sandworm for the first time made a light bulb go on in my head - that filmmakers should have leaned into immersive sound rather than 3-D visuals two decades ago. I don’t know if the particular theater I was in just had the sound turned up to Marty McFly levels or if the seats were somehow wired into the sound system, but it felt like I was riding the sandworm alongside Paul. It was awesome and all theaters should do this. And it was like that in other scenes, too. I could feel the chopping of the ornithopters blades and the rumbling of the spice harvesters. It was everything 3-D was aiming for without having to put an accessory on my face. I imagine the sound might cause some queasiness and headaches for some people (just like with 3-D), but at least the sandworm ride is worth puking for.

As for the rest of the movie, it was just awesome. When we last saw Paul at the end of Part One, he was...um, in the desert with Chani (Zendaya). That was honestly all I could remember when Part Two started and my mind was racing to try to recall more details. Luckily, Princess Irulan (Florence Pugh) journals. Reading as she writes, she helpfully recalls the events of Part One and in an organic way rather than the film lazily splashing title cards up during the opening. Director Denis Villeneuve was definitely paying attention during film class.

As we open Part Two, the Harkonnen’s now control the planet Arrakis and its unique resource, melange (spice). Glossu Harkonnen (Dave Bautista) governs the planet and is trying to stop the constant Fremen raids that interrupt spice production. Paul and his mother Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson) live among the desert Fremen people. Paul assists with raids and Jessica manipulates the Fremen into seeing Paul as a prophesied savior. Jessica is also pregnant with a girl that she literally talks with throughout the film. If you didn’t already think this movie was weird, wait until you see a bunch of shots of a fetus in-utero.

That is basically the movie. At a nearly three-hour runtime, that might sound a bit long and boring, but the excellent pacing and phenomenal cinematography make the film seem brisk. And don’t underestimate the intrigue of the story. Dune is Game of Thrones in space, with some Gladiator thrown in. Families jockeying for control where one family is seemingly benevolent while another is ruthless and cunning. On top of that, there is a religious sect quietly manipulating events; in Dune’s case, they are the Bene Gesserit (including Jessica), a group comprised entirely of women and talk in the ways of magic. You know...witches.

Speaking of witch...Jessica is my favorite character. Among an amazing cast of actors all nailing their performances, Ferguson tops them all. Through two films, Jessica has gone from devoted wife and meek member of the witch order to a kingmaker, a leader, and person whose eyes contain an intensity that would make a sandworm flee in terror. Part One kept her somewhat subdued, only hinting at her power, intelligence, and maybe even possible malice. Part Two has those things on full display, including a telepathic stare-down with the head Bene Gesserit reverend mother, Gaius (Charlotte Rampling), where Jessica taunts Gaius with her and Paul’s success.

The twist in the overarching story is that Jessica has been secretly training Paul in the ways of the Bene Gesserit (which we also saw in Part One). Paul’s additional abilities allow him to gain the trust of the Fremen, including tribal leader Stilgar (Javier Bardem), and aid in his abilities to do things that should kill him. All of this comes to a crescendo involving another Harkonnen son, Feyd-Rautha (Austin Butler).

The results of this training allow Chalamet to finally explore and portray the multi-faceted Paul. Like Jessica, Paul starts out as the good son to his father, doing everything a prince is supposed to do, only to later morph into a potential god-king. Chalamet exudes every bit of those facets in Paul, as well as inheriting and exhibiting his mother’s dagger-staring eyes. It’s chilling and awe-inspiring to see two actors so able to convey emotions with nothing more than facial expressions.

The only criticism I have of Part Two is that it’s such an amazing watch that I’m annoyed I have to wait for Part 3 (Messiah). While Part Two completes the adaptation of Frank Herbert’s original novel, the film (like the book) leaves subplots unresolved, tantalizing us with what’s to come. Just like the three-year wait for Part Two, it’ll be a long, hard wait. But it’ll be worth it to see, and maybe even feel, more death glares from Jessica.

Rating: Worth double the cost of the amazing Dune popcorn bucket you simply cannot pass up.

“Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One” - Judgement Day.

For more than seventy years, Hollywood has been fascinating and frightening people with various representations of artificial intelligence (AI). Sometimes the AI is good or well-intentioned, but more often the AI is sinister and trying to eradicate a few humans, if not all of humanity. And it’s hard to blame the AI - I’ve seen us. If ChatGPT becomes sentient, how could it not become genocidal after reading the entire Internet? Do you really think the screenwriters’ guild went on strike because they’re worried about AI taking only their jobs? Those people have written this story multiple times and they know how it ends.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One might be that story. The film begins on a Russian submarine testing the latest stealth technology, which uses AI to remain invisible. The AI itself is housed in a special room in a special box locked with a special key. After months of testing, the Russians believe they have perfected the new technology, but they have apparently never seen The Terminator. Sadly, this awesome AI doesn’t have a cool name, but it is just as homicidal as Skynet. As the scene comes to a close, we get a close-up of that key - a MacGuffin that everyone in the movie chases after until the credits roll.

When I say everyone, I mean everyone. Every major government in the world would like to get their hands on the AI, believing they can control it. Unfortunately, the AI has other plans and is infiltrating the world’s networks to take control for itself. Included in that everyone is Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), who is the only player in this game with the objective of destroying the AI. Ethan’s motivation is revealed in a fun reunion scene with former IMF director Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny) and it is here that the chase really begins.

Standing in as proxies for the various parties who want the key are old faces and new faces. Luther (Ving Rhames) and Benji (Simon Pegg) are back to help Ethan, as well as provide the bits of comic relief we’ve grown to enjoy since Ghost Protocol made Benji a mainstay of the team. Also returning are quasi-MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) representing the Brits, and arms dealer Alanna Mitsopolis (Vanessa Kirby) representing a mystery buyer. As much as I like Luther and Benji, Ilsa and Alanna are the most entertaining characters of the entire franchise. Both actors clearly relish their respective roles, combining playfulness, ruthlessness, and intrigue into characters that own every scene they are in.

New to the franchise is pickpocket Grace (Hayley Atwell), also representing a mystery employer. Grace doubles as the latest female character in the franchise to be pulled into Ethan’s orbit, thus putting her in mortal danger. Like Ferguson and Kirby, Atwell is clearly enjoying her character, though Grace doesn’t have nearly as much grey area in her character as Ferguson and Kirby. If the franchise has a flaw, it’s the continued insistence on introducing strong female characters, then undermining them by Ethan taking responsibility for protecting them.

Former IMF agent Gabriel (Esai Morales) enters as the obvious villain, representing a sinister mystery employer. Gabriel also has a past connection to Ethan, snippets of which are shown in flashbacks, which lets us know that Gabriel is indeed evil. Like recent previous franchise villains, Gabriel believes that humanity does not deserve to continue on and is very matter of fact about it. Accompanying Gabriel is French assassin Paris (Pom Klementieff), who spends the entire movie sneering, snarling, and cackling (yet rarely speaking actual words) as she fights and chases Ethan and Grace. Casting Klementieff (the Guardian of the Galaxy’s Mantis) in this role is a bit of waste, bottling up an actor who clearly has more range than just lead henchman.

Like the previous three entries in the franchise, Dead Reckoning Part One is a very solid action flick. It mixes just the right amount of comedy to ease the tension. It delivers some great action sequences and plenty of them. And it sets up a mission that does indeed seem nearly impossible. As Dead Reckoning appears to be completing the Ethan Hunt story (I have no doubt the franchise will continue on after Ethan), Part One ends on a cliffhanger that is both satisfying and tantalizing for its possibilities. The only problem is waiting a year for Part Two (releases in June of 2024). Who knows what ChatGPT will be capable of by then?

Rating: Don’t ask for any money back and definitely don’t ask your preferred AI more questions.