“Moana 2” - Swimming in circles.

The story was over. Moana saved her people from starving to death by restoring Te Fiti’s heart. As a bonus prize, she helped the demigod Maui restore his honor and Moana’s people got to become sea voyagers again. And they lived happily, ever after.

And by ever, we mean a few years at best. When Moana 2 starts, Moana (Auli’I Cravalho) has already spent years sailing around the ocean...excuse me, wayfinding...searching for other people in an attempt to reconnect all the island peoples of Oceania. Moana has no real reason for this, she just wants to. And there is no urgency to the task. Nobody is going to starve or drown or eat Pua (the pig) or Heihei (the rooster), it’s just, well, she wants to. But if a curse was good enough for Moana, then a new one is good enough for the sequel.

After being struck by lightning, Moana is visited by the ghost of a previous tribal chieftain who tells her how the god Nalo cursed the island of Motufetu, which connected the different ocean peoples. All she has to do to break the curse is find the island, get past an impassable storm guarding the island, and touch the island. And this time, she can’t just take her chicken and pig, but also some real people because of reasons. More importantly, what quest movie is really complete without a quest crew?

Moana’s first choice is Moni (Hualalai Chung), a historian and Maui superfan who is also very strong. Moni’s historical knowledge and strength are forgotten almost instantly, revealing Moni’s true purpose to be comic relief. Moana’s second choice is Loto (Rose Matafeo), an engineer and shipbuilder who is constantly trying to improve the ship. On the surface, Loto makes as much sense as Moni as a crew member until she reveals herself to be mostly there to also provide comic relief. But it’s tinkerer comedy instead of fawning-over-idols comedy.

Moana’s last choice is Kele (David Fane), a grumpy farmer needed because he can help the crew eat other food besides just fish. This doesn’t make sense at all and Kele’s real purpose is exactly what you think it is. You will not be surprised to learn that the three of them contribute barely more to the success of the mission than Pua and Heihei.

You also won’t be surprised that the adventure is essentially just a reprise of Moana’s adventure in the first film. There is a run-in with the Kakamora coconut pirates. They accidentally find Maui (Dwayne Johnson) and recover his hook for him. They get shipwrecked. They tangle with a secondary villain, Matangi (Awhimai Fraser), who doesn’t get a catchy song like Tamatoa’s “Shiny.” And they must pass through a god-induced storm to reach a magical island to lift a curse. It’s as different as night and later that night.

That’s not to say the adventure isn’t still kind of fun. The obstacles that Moana and friends face are new and creative. The comedic relief, particularly from Loto, does induce some laughter. And Matangi is a very intriguing Loki-esque character, though gets far too little screen time. And she isn’t the only one absent from too much of the film. Maui is almost an afterthought and arguably more useless than even the animals. His single contribution is a pep-talk in the form of the only song that is even mildly memorable, "Can I Get A Chee Hoo?" That’s right, even the songs are as forgettable as most of the characters.

As a whole, the movie is very meh, just like the first movie. There are moments that are good, but the mostly the movie feels like treading water. Don’t worry though - your kids will probably love it and there is definitely more to come. I mean, this is Disney we’re talking about.

Rating: Ask for your money back, but only the dollars of your kid’s ticket back. What can I say except “You’re welcome”?