“X-Files: I Want to Believe” – I can’t believe more people didn’t see this.

I am deeply concerned with the state of America. Why, you ask? When shitty films like “Step Brothers” and “Wanted” make over $100 million each and “X-Files” barely pulls in $20 million, I die a little inside. I know it’s been awhile since the “X-Files” TV series ended, but this is just inexcusable. I’m sick of everyone saying how funny Will Farrell is. Would someone please explain to me what it is that makes him so funny? I don’t understand how he continues to convince people of this. His whole schtick is being as outrageous as possible to get people to laugh. This is no better than toilet humor and takes no talent whatsoever. And don’t get me started on Angelina Jolie. Has everyone forgotten that this is the same person who wore Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck? She is easily the most overrated actor on the planet. Don’t roll your eyes at me; you know it’s true. The biggest role she should ever get should not exceed what she did in “Pushing Tin” or “Gone in 60 Seconds.” But this is supposed to be about “X-Files.”

It’s hard to say why this movie did so poorly in the theaters. I think it’s for the reason I mentioned earlier, that it’s been too long since the TV series ended. Added to this was a very low key marketing campaign. The previews did not give any clue as to what the plot of the movie was going to be. However, if you looked into it at all, you would have come across interviews with Chris Carter (like I did) and learned a little more. He said that he wanted to do a story that was much more reminiscent of early episodes of the series and that had nothing to do with aliens. This probably turned a lot of people off to this film before it was released. That $20 million was spent by the die-hard fans who wanted another dose of their addiction.

The basic premise of this film was a search-and-rescue for a missing FBI agent. A man claiming to be a psychic says that he can see her and a young agent (Amanda Peet) decides to take a chance by listening to him. She calls in Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), who is no longer an agent. He convinces Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), who is now a doctor at a religious hospital, to help out. With the help of the psychic, they are eventually led to a group of people who are kidnapping girls, cutting their heads off while keeping the bodies alive, and sewing another guy’s head (also still alive) on the body. I am not making this up. It’s a real throwback to old episodes of the “X-Files,” pushing the envelope of what an audience can stomach – raw and horrible and just gruesome enough to make you cover your eyes…and then peek through your fingers.

There was nothing special about this movie, but the plot was tight and we are even treated to some other loose strings from the series being tied up. This film takes place several years after the end of the series and we find out that Mulder and Scully wind up living together during that time. They even have a son together (who dies before this movie takes place). Mulder and Scully are so familiar to us, we fall right into step with their story, and don’t even ask questions. Just the fact that they are back to tell us another story is enough – like an old friend coming to visit. They both look older and more tired, but Duchovny and Anderson seem to be as comfortable back in their characters as we are watching them again. It’s like they never left.

And in case you were wondering, they won’t be doing another one. How do I know this? During the credits, you see the shadow of a helicopter over the ocean and eventually come across Mulder and Scully in a boat. They wave at the helicopter as it flies up and away, but they are actually waving at the audience, rewarding and acknowledging those die-hard fans who stayed to the end of the credits in hopes of one final X-Files fix, just like my wife and I did. To us and other true fans, they are saying thank you and goodbye. It’s sad, but I doubt America will even notice, since they barely even noticed that another movie had come out. America can’t be bothered to stop watching swill for a decent movie. Especially for one that was one of the most popular and well-written shows ever. Shame on you America.

Rating: It’s worth the money all twelve of us paid for it.