“Weapons” - Lessons learned.

How did you feel about the 2022 movie Barbarian? You can read what I thought of Barbarian in detail, but, to summarize, I was not amused. Weapons is the second film solely written and directed by Zach Cregger, Barbarian being his first. Knowing that, I set my expectations for Weapons to...very guarded. My hope going into Weapons was that it wasn’t gross and disturbing the way Barbarian was and I was looking forward to Josh Brolin. I’m happy to report that Weapons was only a tiny bit gross and a tiny bit disturbing but in the best way possible. Also, Josh Brolin was excellent and the film was orders of magnitude better than the overrated Barbarian.

Before I go on, this is a great time to reiterate one of my rules for movies. Do not watch full movie trailers. No exceptions. Part of the fun of watching movies is being surprised by what you see. But trailers always show way too much of the movie, including many of the best parts. I know there are some people out there who like the anticipation of wondering when certain parts they saw in a trailer will show up in the movie. But those people don’t realize how much of the movie they’re not fully absorbing due to that same anticipation taking up part of their concentration.

I bring this up because Weapons is one of the best mystery and horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. Maybe ever. Yeah...it’s that good. And the trailers will rob you of some of that experience. Don’t worry, I didn’t watch the trailer until after I saw the film. All I knew going in was the synopsis - seventeen kids from the same classroom all disappear and only one is left. Oh, and I knew Josh Brolin was in it. If you need more than those two things to be very interested in this film - and the Josh Brolin part is optional - you and I cannot hang out.

(Side note: Teasers for movies are perfectly acceptable to watch because they are essentially the synopsis come to life. You’re welcome.)

Cregger definitely learned all the right lessons from Barbarian and implemented improvements in Weapons. The structure of the film is the most obvious improvement. Cregger is definitely fan of nonlinear narratives, showing the same period of time or the same events through different characters’ perspectives. Think Pulp Fiction or Go. When done right, this structure serves to move the plot forward while also spending ample time developing characters. Unlike in Barbarian, all of these components are done right.

In Weapons, the film opens with a child narrating the synopsis while showing us the kids running out of their houses and disappearing into the night. Once the setup is complete, a title card reading “Justine” appears and we get a chunk of the story from Justine’s (Julia Garner) perspective. After spending some time getting to know Justine, revealing more of the main story, and meeting several other characters, the film cuts to a new title card reading “Arthur.” Arthur (Brolin) is the father of one of the missing kids and he wants answers. Character development happens, more story, more character intersections, next title card. Lather, rinse, repeat for police officer Paul (Alden Ehrenreich), drug addict James (Austin Abrams), school principal Andrew (Benedict Wong), and the last remaining student from Justine’s class, Alex (Cary Christopher).

As we get the various character perspectives, the film does an excellent job of introducing questions early, then answering those questions later. All in service of a dramatic buildup culminating in the various arcs dovetailing together in a very, very excellent climax. During all of this, we get served the exact right amount of scares using various techniques. A couple of jump scares, a pinch of witchcraft, a dash of gore, and splashes of creepy imagery, including Alex’s Aunt Gladys (Amy Madigan). It’s a horror mystery recipe so well-crafted it would make Alfred Hitchcock and Agatha Christie cry in delight.

As if all that wasn’t enough, Cregger also managed to fit in some exquisitely timed moments of comic relief to break up the tension. Various characters sum up these moments nicely, uttering the phrase “what the fuck?!” several times to voice what the audience is thinking at the same time.

One of my hopes every year is that a movie comes out of nowhere to blow my expectations out of the water. Weapons is definitely that movie this year, a movie so good that an excellent Josh Brolin performance was approximately the tenth best thing about this movie.

Rating: Don’t ask for any money back and don’t watch another trailer ever again.