"Disclosure Day" - I want to believe.

The idea has been around for decades that the government has been hiding proof of the existence of aliens. Specifically, that aliens have visited Earth. Just recently, the Pentagon released a bunch of declassified files about UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon) investigations that proved exactly as much as every other information release regarding UAP (renamed from UFO some years ago). In a word - nothing. Personally, I do not believe that aliens have ever visited Earth. Definitely not since human beings invented civilization. I'm definitely open to the possibility, on the condition that any evidence presented is clear and irrefutable. But the biggest reason I don't think aliens have been here is because it requires me believing that they crash their spacecraft. Crash them a lot.

Disclosure Day is what all the alien conspiracy theorists dream of. It's the day we find out that aliens have been zipping around the skies of Earth for years. It's the day we find out the government knew about the aliens, even captured some of the aliens. It's the day we see the "real" video of UFO/UAP encounters; clear and detailed images of extraterrestrial craft and biologics rather than grainy videos of glowing orbs or flocks of seagulls. It's the day we confirm that despite wildly advanced technology allowing aliens to travel vast distances and defy the laws of physics, they crash more often than a drunk, fully self-driving Tesla.

Daniel Kellner (Josh O'Connor) is a cybersecurity specialist working for the Wardex corporation. Daniel has stolen copies of all of their files related to the existence of aliens, as well as a piece of alien technology. Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth) is the head of Wardex and wants his stuff back. Daniel is working in league with another Wardex employee named Hugo Wakefield (Colman Domingo) to release all of the information to the public. After a botched attempt to trade Daniel his girlfriend Jane (Eve Hewson) for the alien stuff, Daniel and Jane go on the run from Noah while Hugo finishes setting something up in preparation for the information release. It's a story and plot we've seen in countless other films, but director Steven Spielberg (also wrote the story) and writer David Koepp aren't content with just that.

Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt) is a meteorologist in Kansas City who wants more out of life than TV weather girl. When a cardinal flies into her apartment and looks at her, she gets what she asked for. She starts reading minds and speaking different languages, including an alien language while on air doing the local forecast. When that video goes viral, Noah and friends see it and immediately set out to capture Margaret. So too does Hugo, once he's clued into the video. Once all of these people are in motion, we find ourselves engrossed in a classic Spielberg film.

You know what I’m talking about. Clear goals and motivations for the characters. Steady pacing to build drama all the way to the climax. A well-defined plot that’s easy to follow. Actors delivering good performances, if not great performances. On that note, shout out to Hewson for some excellent work in the second act of the film. She’s asked to shapeshift (I won’t say how) and she does a remarkably good job going back and forth.

And of course, the special effects and musical score are top shelf. Close your eyes for a second and you immediately recognize music that can only come from John Williams. Then, open your eyes and soak in the beautiful visuals and long takes, including a four-minute take where Blunt vocalizes the alien language...with no SFX or AI assistance. Things like this are why we always show up for Spielberg films.

A friend that came with me was really interested in seeing the film. What I didn’t know prior to inviting him was that he hadn’t been to a movie theater in over a decade. When we sat down, he was surprised to find reclining chairs and plenty of legroom. The look on his face was one of joy. When the credits rolled, I asked him if this movie was worth returning to theaters for and that look was still there as he emphatically said it was well worth it. I may not believe aliens have visited Earth, but I believe in the power of Spielberg.

Rating: Worth every penny, conspiracy theory or not.

“The Running Man (2025)” - That’s THIS year!

The Running Man is one of the most appropriately timed movies I’ve ever seen. My son is currently studying dystopian novels in his language arts class, the film’s story is about a family that can barely afford food and can’t afford medicine for their sick child, and the main villain of the film is a greedy, fascist game show producer who runs the country through mass surveillance, propaganda, fear, and violence. And here’s the crazy (and terrifying) part - Stephen King wrote the original novel in 1982 and set the story in the year...2025.

Ben Richards (Glen Powell) badly needs money. He keeps getting fired from jobs over anger issues, his wife is working double shifts at some kind of dive, and his very young daughter has the flu and needs real medical attention. In desperation, Ben decides to audition to be on any of the sadistic game shows put on to distract people by feeding their bloodlust. After tryouts, he and two others are selected for the most lethal, but lucrative game - The Running Man. At first, he refuses to be on the game, but show producer Dan Killian (Josh Brolin) convinces him to do it.

The rules of the game are simple and are described to the audience very loudly and flamboyantly by show host Bobby T (Colman Domingo). The entire country is the game area. If Ben can avoid being killed for thirty days, he wins one billion dollars. For every day he survives, he wins money for his family. For every hunter or hunter’s minion he kills, he wins money for his family. To prove he’s still alive every day, he has to film himself for ten minutes and drop the tape in a drone mailbox. Trying to kill him are a team of hunters employed by the network, as well as literally every person in the country. Because, anyone can earn rewards for snitching on Ben’s whereabouts or outright murdering him. And just about everyone tries.

Like with The Long Walk, I’ve been waiting decades for an adaptation of The Running Man. And I mean a faithful adaptation. While the 1987 version featuring Arnold Schwarzanegger was fun (I watched dozens of times as a kid), it had almost nothing in common with the novel. Plus, it was definitely a B-movie movie that was very, very 1980s action and very, very Arnold.

It’s been about thirty years since I read The Running Man, so many of the details are fuzzy. But I remember the major points and they all seemed to be present in this new film. And I definitely remember the rules, which are identical. The rules are what made the novel so intriguing and I was ecstatic that the film kept them intact. The idea of having to survive for a month and not being able to trust anyone in the country is so much more interesting than Arnold being chased around an empty few blocks of game set by a couple of ridiculously dressed muscleheads. And the inclusion of the daily tapes is vital to the underlying social commentary regarding a fascist surveillance state controlling everyone.

Besides the plot being very well executed, the acting and action is really, really good. All of the supporting cast is great. There’s a great, early scene featuring William H. Macy barking at Powell’s Richards. There’s an excellent murder/fun house scene with Michael Cera having a ton of fun as a revolutionary. Lee Pace delivers an excellent head hunter who is both menacing and clearly reveling in the joys of murder as a game. And Colman Domingo hits the perfect amount of over-the-top every time the show cuts to him in the studio.

Then there are the two unequivocal stars of this film. Brolin’s Killian embodies everything we’ve come to hate in CEOs, corrupt politicians, and manipulative salesmen, complete with the fake smile and pretending that everything is on the level. Powell is even better as Richards. Not only does he have to convince us of Richard’s pure, unadulterated anger, but that he’s also a caring and compassionate human worth rooting for. And boy does he ever convince us. I know the Oscar awards typically overlook movies like this, but Powell’s performance is definitely deserving of that level of attention.

If none of that is of particular interest to you and all you care about is the action, this movie has you covered. There are car chases, explosions, booby traps, gun fire, helicopters, drones, and Powell doing some naked repelling off a rooftop. That’s right ladies and gentlemen - there’s beefcake to go with all the death and destruction. And it all looks great.

The only complaint I have is with the end of the climax. Compared to the book’s ending, the film pulls its punch a little bit. That’s not to say the end of the film is bad. In fact, it doesn’t stray all that much from the book’s finale. It just doesn’t have the impact that the book’s end does. But it doesn’t change how good the movie is as a whole. Not only did my son and I really enjoy it, but my son even started rattling off the dystopian elements in the film. Including the 2025 part.

Rating: Easily worth twice what you paid for it, even with our current inflation.

“Drive-Away Dolls” - Rated I for immature.

The Coen brothers (Ethan and Joel) are known for their quirky, darkly comedic movies. Perhaps more than that, they are known for making movies as a pair. While they don’t make blockbuster type films, you have probably seen at least one of their films and remember something specific about that film. A dude in a bowling alley, Brad Pitt doing a funny dance, Javier Bardem’s bolt pistol, “Man of Constant Sorrow,” a wood chipper. I don’t know about you, but I’ve often wondered which Coen thought up which elements in their films. Now that Ethan has gone off on his own with his solo debut of Drive-Away Dolls, I think I know the answer.

The synopsis for Drive-Away Dolls is “In search of a fresh start, two women embark on an impromptu road trip to Tallahassee, Florida. However, things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals along the way.” Those are certainly words in a sentence and a couple of them even accurately summarize the film. Two women, Jamie (Margaret Qualley) and Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan), do indeed go on a road trip to Tallahassee. But they are not searching for a fresh start, it isn’t impromptu, and it doesn’t go awry because of inept criminals. Oh - and Jamie and Margaret are lesbians that do lesbian things. Let’s try that synopsis again - “Ethan Coen’s horny 14-year-old boy fantasy of what lesbians do and also throw in some goofy criminals to make it feel more Coen-y.” There. Fixed it.

I’m confident now that Ethan is the mastermind behind such Coen movie elements as the wood chipper scene in Fargo. Drive-Away Dolls opens with a similarly grisly scene involving a cork-screw, a knife, two thumbs, and Pedro Pascal. Santos (Pascal) is supposed to be meeting someone at a restaurant and is clutching a silver briefcase like it contains whatever was in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase in Pulp Fiction. That someone is a no-show and Pascal ends up trapped in an alley by the restaurant’s cook and his utensils. This scene appeared to be setting the tone of the film and my curiosity was piqued.

The next scene opens with a woman screaming in ecstasy, her large breasts filling the screen. A phone rings and Jamie’s head emerges from between the woman’s legs. I’m not trying to be gratuitous here, but Ethan Coen sure seemed to be. Remember, these two scenes are how this film begins. That’s not to say the scenes don’t have a purpose. The briefcase is the MacGuffin of the film, instantly becoming the only thing the audience is cares about. We have to know what’s in the briefcase. And what better way is there to distract the audience from that thought than boobs and oral sex? Seriously, what’s in that case?

The movie then stumbles into its premise. Jamie’s girlfriend Sukie (Beanie Feldstein) - who isn’t the screaming breasts we saw - breaks up with her over Jamie’s promiscuity, so Jamie hijacks her friend Marian’s planned road trip to visit Marian’s aunt. Jamie tells her about a service called drive-away, where they can pay to drive a car to a destination for a third-party. Is this a real thing? I don’t know. What’s in the briefcase?

As is typical of Coen flicks, a mix-up occurs and a trio of heavies (Colman Domingo, Joey Slotnick, C.J. Wilson) sets about tracking down the girls in order to recover the case (which is in the trunk of the car for...reasons). And, as is also typical of Coen flicks, some of the characters have diarrhea of the mouth. The only time Jamie stops talking is when someone else’s body part is in her mouth. Not to be outdone, one of the heavies, Arliss (Slotnick), spends the entire film berating his partner Flint (Wilson) and arguing at him (Flint rarely says a word). While there are some funny lines of dialogue, they are mostly surrounded by rambling. Just because something isn’t naked or bleeding, doesn’t mean it’s not gratuitous.

Speaking of which, are lesbians obsessed with penises? Do they all have at least two dildos in their homes? Do they have make-out parties in their basements with each other? Do they invite other random girls they meet in road-side diners to these make-out parties? Did Ethan Coen watch a porno and think it was non-fiction? Judging by Drive-Away Dolls, Coen did and they do. But they don’t have pillow fights in their underwear. Let’s not get carried away.

If this review seems a little bit all over the place, that’s how the movie felt. It’s about a couple of guys trying to retrieve a briefcase with something valuable in it...unless it’s really about two girls discovering their feelings for each other because Jamie decided her purpose in life was to get Marian laid (this is seriously Jamie’s goal for the first two acts of the movie). At one moment, the lead heavy, Chief (Domingo), is ordering Flint and Arliss to go to a new location, the next moment Marian is being arrested for walking at night. And if you were hoping for a generous amount of screen time for Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal, keep hoping because they are in the movie for about thirty seconds. The only real conclusion I can draw from this film is that Joel Coen is the mature brother and keeps Ethan in check when they are working together. If Joel were involved in Drive-Away Dolls, I think the contents of the briefcase would have been very different.

Rating: Ask for eight dollars back and for Ethan to grow up a little.