“Zootopia 2” - I’m a s-s-s-snake.

Here’s my biggest issue with the world in Zootopia. If all of the animals have evolved higher intelligence and become anthropomorphized, why are fish still treated like regular fish? And I don’t mean like pet fish. They are literally still food for the now enlightened other animals. We see fish being chopped up and devoured by denizens of Zootopia. At least in the first Zootopia, this could be explained by saying it was just the mammals that evolved. But the sequel specifically centers on the plight of reptiles, snakes in particular, who are decidedly not mammals. You get it now; the fish thing seems wrong. But this isn’t about the fish.

After teaming up to save the city with Judy Hopps, Nick Wilde is made an official police officer and partnered up with Judy. Eager to prove their worth, Judy and Nick go undercover to bust a corrupt customs officer. Things don’t go as planned and a high-speed chase ends with a whole lot of damage done to the city. As a consequence, Nick and Judy are ordered to go to therapy for incompatible pairings. If that last bit sounds familiar it’s because that’s what the first movie was about as well - if different species can live and work together.

On top of that, this is also a typical buddy cop movie where two very different styles of cops are partnered up. I ran through a bunch of examples of movies and TV shows in my head and the closest parallel is Amy and Jake in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Like Amy, Judy is the straight-laced, always studying detective trying to prove her worth and Nick, like Jake, is the laid back, fast talker always relying on his instincts. When Zootopia 3 comes out featuring Judy and Nick dating or married or pregnant with a fox-rabbit mutant hybrid baby, just remember that ‘fobbit’ and ‘rabbox’ are equally funny words for that baby.

Anyway, during the botched bust, Judy finds a piece of snakeskin in one of the vehicles. She starts investigating because no reptiles have been spotted in Zootopia in one hundred years. That was when a pit viper was accused of killing a turtle/maid of the lynx (Ebenezer) that invented the weather walls and founded the modern Zootopia. You read that right - a snake killed a turtle so they banned all reptiles from Zootopia. No, it doesn’t make any sense that it’s all reptiles. Just like it doesn’t make sense that fish are just food.

At least, the reptile thing doesn’t make sense until much, much later in the movie. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Zootopia is celebrating its hundredth anniversary and the Lynxleys - the descendants of Ebenezer - are throwing a big party to celebrate, including displaying Ebenezer’s journal containing the walls’ designs. Judy suspects that a snake is going to steal the journal, so she convinces Nick to do another undercover mission, this time to protect the journal and prove to the chief (Bogo) that there is a snake in Zootopia.

Unfortunately, things go wrong again, but this time Nick and Judy are accused of helping the snake (Gary) steal the journal. The rest of the film unfolds exactly like every movie where the hero is falsely accused. They go on the run, try to redeem themself by uncovering the villain’s plot and exposing it, all while evading capture or death from the villains. Even though we’ve seen this story a thousand times, it’s still fun because Zootopia is filled with talking animals behaving in ways that satirize humans while still making fun of the animals. Look no further than Flash, the sloth. Plus, there are more Easter eggs than you can catch in a single viewing.

I also enjoyed the plethora of new characters, as well as exploring a new area of Zootopia called the Marsh Market. Fashioned as a riff on the bayou, it’s filled with a bunch of aquatic mammals living out almost every swamp people stereotype you can think of. I got a particular kick out of a quick gag featuring a touchy sea lion and another featuring the result of an underwater wake on some diners caused by a chase passing by. It’s the attention to those little details that really endear me to films like this.

As much as enjoyed the film, I was a little disappointed that it fell into the sequel trap of forcing characters to relearn a lesson they already learned in the first movie. And a little disappointed that it warmed over a couple of very tired relationship cliches (the misunderstanding that leads to a breakup, and the declaration that “I didn’t do it for myself or for them, I did it for you”). I also found it weirdly lazy that certain characters got great surnames like Hopps (for a rabbit) and Winddancer (for a horse), yet Gary’s surname is De’Snake and the lynxes are surnamed Lynxley. And don’t even get me started on the sheer number of contrivances used to further the plot.

But those are just minor flaws that don’t significantly impact the entertainment factor of the film. All in all, it was a solid movie with a good social message (one that is exceptionally relevant in the year 2025). While it might not hit quite as well with some (my wife and son were a little cooler on it than me), it won’t leave anybody fuming when they leave the theater. Except maybe fish lovers.

Rating: Ask for three dollars back and look forward to seeing a fobbit/rabbox in the next film.

“Air” - Happy feet.

Now that we are into the beginning of the blockbuster season, we have a lot to choose from. Super Mario, John Wick, Adonis Creed, Ghostface, and a Dungeons and Dragons party are all vying for our attention. Would you believe me if I told you your best option is none of those, but instead Air - a movie about a shoe? Not just any shoe though. Air Jordan shoes.

You’re probably wondering how it’s possible to spend two hours on a historical footnote without putting an audience to sleep. Step one is pick a footnote related to arguably the most famous athlete in history (Michael Jordan). Step two is spice up that footnote with some snappy dialogue and good pacing. Step three is write a screenplay that adds a bit of suspense without changing the real story too much. Step four is cast some A-list actors that have done this type of movie before. Step five is sit back, kick your feet up, and enjoy the show.

Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon) works in the basketball apparel division of Nike in 1984. At the time, Nike was mostly known for running shoes and was running a very distant third to Adidas and Converse in the basketball shoes world. Sonny’s main role is to identify up-and-coming rookies and convince them to sign endorsement deals for shoes. As a basketball savant, Sonny travels to high schools and colleges as a kind of scout, while also digesting countless hours of film.

After a frustrating spit-balling meeting at the office trying to decide which three players to split a measly two hundred fifty thousand on, Sonny goes home to a night of microwave dinner and more film. While watching footage of the 1982 NCAA championship, he realizes how truly different and remarkable is Michael Jordan. The next morning, Sonny tracks down his boss, Rob Strasser (Jason Bateman), pitching him the idea of spending the entire budget to sign Jordan. Remember, this isn’t the mythical Jordan of the 1990s, it’s the rookie Jordan drafted third in 1984, after second pick Sam Bowie.

The film kicks into high gear at this point. Not only does Sonny have to convince Rob, but he must also convince his colleague Howard White (Chris Tucker), Nike’s CEO Phil Knight (Ben Affleck), Jordan’s agent David Falk (Chris Messina), Jordan’s mother Deloris (Viola Davis), and, of course, Jordan himself. We follow Sonny on calls and cross-country trips as he tries to sell the idea to each of these people, Sonny does and says everything he can as the clock ticks down on Jordan’s decision. Despite the fact that we all know how history turned out, the screenplay is so well-written and performances so convincing that we believe it possible that Sonny could fail in his quest.

While it’s easy to see that Damon and Davis are the stars of the movie, there are a couple of scenes where they really shine. Damon’s best scenes are those where Sonny is conversing with Falk, first trying to get a meeting with Jordan, then another where Falk is livid at Sonny for going around him to talk to Deloris. Davis’s best scenes are those where she is talking with Sonny, each time putting Sonny in his place and on the defensive. As good an actor as Damon is, Davis’ poise and delivery is so good it pushes Damon to step up his game even more.

In addition to Air being a highly engrossing film, it managed to teach me a little history while enticing me to do more research on the topic. I now know about the NBA’s previous rules for shoe color, potential fines for wearing “illegal” shoes, the location of Nike’s headquarters, that Deloris was instrumental in orchestrating Jordan’s then-present and future worth, and that even then Nike’s reputation regarding labor was suspect. It’s the kind of movie that I would definitely walk into again.

Rating: Don’t ask for any money back, including for those shoes.