“Good Fortune” - How do angels get their wings?

Good Fortune, a movie featuring Aziz Ansari and Seth Rogen - and Keanu Reeves as an inept angel - seemed like exactly the kind of movie I was craving. Something light-hearted and goofy because I just wanted to laugh for a couple hours. To forget about real life for a while. Definitely not to be depressed and pissed off at society at the conclusion of the film. You had ONE job, funny guys.

Arj (Ansari) is a gig worker living in his car. His gigs include being paid to stand in line for hours to buy a bagel, sorting crap in someone’s garage, and doing somebody’s laundry. This isn’t some new career invented in the last decade, by the way. People like Arj used to be referred to as assistants, maids, servants, or butlers. The difference is those people were typically employed full-time by whomever they were serving, sometimes being housed by those same employers. Think Downton Abbey or The Help or The Devil Wears Prada, but way, way more depressing.

After completing a gig for rich, tech-bro, venture capitalist Jeff (Rogen), Arj convinces Jeff to hire him as a full-time assistant. Everything starts to look up for Arj and by up I mean barely making enough money to live in a disgusting motel instead of his car. Unfortunately, Arj gets fired for using Jeff’s corporate credit card to pay for a dinner date one night, despite promising Jeff he would pay back the money. Arj soon finds there’s an even deeper rock bottom when his car/house gets towed. Hilarious, right?

Observing all this is an angel named Gabriel (Reeves). Not to be confused with the archangel from the Bible who serves as God’s messenger, Reeves’ Gabriel is entrusted with the responsibility of subtly alerting texting-while-driving humans into avoiding imminent accidents. Gabriel took an interest in Arj when he noticed Arj texting about having nothing to live for and believes Arj is a lost soul that needs to be saved. Despite Gabriel’s boss Martha (Sandra Oh) telling Gabriel not to stray from his assigned duties, Gabriel decides to Trading Places (or Freaky Friday for the gig generation) Jeff and Arj.

Gabriel thinks that if Arj spends a few days in the shoes of a rich person, Arj will realize his old, destitute life was worth living. Clearly, Gabriel is woefully naive, if not a complete moron. As Arj puts it a few days later “being rich solved all my problems.” Yeah, of course it did. That’s why rich people never give away all their money. The problem Gabriel now has is that he can’t restore Jeff and Arj to their former lives until Arj wants to go back. And, of course Arj doesn’t want to go back. And Jeff definitely wants his life back after trying and failing to live in Arj’s shoes for a few days.

Instead of using all of this setup to steer us to ha-ha land, writer/producer/director Ansari decided steer us in the opposite direction by focusing film on a bunch of social issues. Which for the record, is very admirable; our society is pretty messed up and getting worse much faster since the 2024 election. On top of the overt commentary regarding the plight of gig workers and the gig economy in general (including the desperation for good ratings in the apps used to hire gig workers), Ansari dives into unionization efforts, privileges certain people are born into, people working three jobs just to survive (living wages), and the callousness and ignorance of people who say idiotic things like “they can just get better jobs if they don’t like it.”

The messages do get across, but they are softened, if not altogether blunted, by the inclusion of the clueless Gabriel. After Gabriel’s colossal screw up, Martha fires him and makes him human (though says she will reconsider if Arj chooses to go back to his former life). Many of the messages Ansari wants to get across come via Gabriel, which makes the poor versions of Jeff and Arj redundant. And Gabriel steals the show every time he reacts in surprise to a first human experience. Eating a hamburger, sweating, or expressing disappointment when he sees how much of his first paycheck isn’t going into his pocket are all given the same weight in the screenplay. It’s funny unless it’s tragic.

Good Fortune isn’t a bad movie, but it is very confused about what it’s supposed to be. The entire cast, including Keke Palmer as Arj’s love interest Elena, do what they can to lift the film, but the screenplay can’t get of its or their way. There are occasional moments of comedy, but they are dwarfed by the serious issues in the film. And all muddled by the inclusion of angels doing menial tasks. Which might be an even sadder existence than the life of a gig worker.

Rating: Ask for twelve dollars back and remember to give me a good review.

“Turning Red” - Crimson Tide (or a visit from Aunt Flo).

Turning Red is a movie I’m really torn about. You can be forgiven for not knowing what this movie is actually about if you have only seen the preview. Let me help. It’s about puberty. Specifically, a girl’s first period. What I’m torn about is the way in which the material is handled. I realize that as a man, I’m not the best judge of this. But, I like to think I’m intelligent enough and empathetic enough to make a reasonable argument. I’m also married to a woman who will tell me if I’m way off base.

My initial impression of the movie was lukewarm and had a lot do with the fact that the movie is literally portraying menstruation as a giant, raging, red monster. In the #metoo era, this seems like a very curious choice, as it continues the absurd prudishness of America by not calling it what it is, while also continuing to stigmatize something that half of the Earth’s population goes through. One of our mantras with raising our own kid is that we don’t use euphemisms for things like that. He has a penis. Girls have a vagina. He knows how babies are made and how they are born. We Kindergarten Cop’d our child.

And the movie isn’t subtle about what it’s talking about. When thirteen-year old Meilin wakes up one morning and discovers she’s a giant red panda, she runs to the bathroom, finds that she has horrible body odor, hair in new places, and her mom asks Meilin about Meilin’s red peony while all but flinging tampons and pads at Meilin’s crotch. Keep in mind that her mom is fully aware that Meilin is going to change into a giant red panda at any moment because all of the women in her family have been cursed with the same affliction, yet immediately jumps to bleeding vagina. That’s right, they even call it a curse.

Since I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions about misogyny striking again, I did a little bit of research on the director/writer, Domee Shi. Turns out she’s a she, which immediately stopped my brain in its tracks. Turns out the other writers and producers are all women. So, what the fuck ladies? Why are we watching a movie that has the potential to scare the shit out of young girls about something that desperately needs to be de-tabooed? Turns out, Shi wrote the film based on her own childhood. Didn’t see that one coming.

And that is where I got torn. Shi appears to be telling the story from her own point of view and how she felt going through puberty. Overbearing mom, major body changes, suddenly crushing on boys, euphemisms galore. From that point of view, it’s kind of endearing. I can see a lot of teenaged girls relating to the film and taking comfort that someone is finally showing us all how they feel. I still don’t feel very good about the portrayal, but like I said, I’m probably not the best judge.

Speaking of less-than-ideal judges, here is what a nine-year old boy thought of the film...

What is the first thing you want to tell me about the movie?

What do you mean?

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when we talk about Turning Red?

The giant red panda mom at the end.

SPOILER ALERT

[laughing] That’s the first thing that came to my mind.

Okay, let’s back up a bit...what is Turning Red about?

It’s about this girl...who has like this curse that if her emotions get too amped up, she turns into a giant red panda.

What’s the girl’s name?

Uhhh...I don’t know. [giggles]

Well it’s not Giant Red Panda.

Well maybe!

Her name is Meilin.

Oh yeah!

So what is the conflict in the story?

Like...she has to get, like...because there IS a cure and she has to wait for the next red moon to like do this ritual and it’ll take her to this magical forest where Sunee, the red panda master, I guess...goes through this portal thing that will get her out of the panda curse thing. Yeah. Basically that’s it.

So you remember Sun Yi’s name, but not the main character’s name?

[laughing]

What other characters are in the movie?

Mom, dad, gramma, and grampa...and gramma and grampa...her friends, named...

You don’t remember their names, do you?

[laughing] No.

How many friends does she hang out with?

Four. No, three.

How old are they?

Middle school, like fourteen, fifteen.

Thirteen?

Yeah, thirteen definitely.

Are the friends all girls, all boys, mixed..?

All girls.

Do her friends know that she can turn into a giant panda?

Yes.

They do?

YES!

Do they know right away?

Well, no.

How do they know?

Because Meilin turned into the panda and they accidentally saw her and they were like WHOOOAAA!

So she has to wait ‘til the red moon to lift the curse?

Yeah.

What does she do while she’s waiting?

Goes to this concert, and she has to get through school, and...a party.

Does her mom want her to go to the concert?

No.

Why not?

Because she thinks that the stars of the concert are bad people.

Like a bad influence?

I think so.

Do you remember what kind of band it is? Do you remember the name?

4*Town.

[laughing] So you can remember the name of the band, but not the main character.

[giggling] Yes! It’s 4*Town. But there are 5 of them.

And what kind of band is 4*Town, do you know what that’s called?

Teenage rock? Teenage pop?

So a bunch of middle school girls want to go watch a boy band?

Mmhmm. At the Sky Dome in Toronto.

Is there a band that you would want to see so bad that you would sneak away if your parents told you that you couldn’t go see them?

Ehh...well I might sneak away to go watch Hamilton. [funny singing voice] IT’S GONNA BE MAY.

Who was your favorite of Meilin’s friends?

The small one, she was like three-foot-one, she’s like the crazy one.

What do you think of Meilin’s mom?

She’s strict. Kinda. She never lets Mei go anywhere, she’s like NAAAH. Like the party, or the concert.

What do you think about that?

Well I guess no.

Why not?

Because it’s kinda dangerous?

A birthday party is dangerous?

Yep. Well, teenagers tend to be a little stupid.

I want you to remember that when you become a teenager.

[maniacal laughter]

Do you remember what one of the themes of the movie is?

Like don’t hide your characteristics. Don’t hide who you are.

If you could turn into any animal, what animal would you turn into?

Uhhh...an eagle.

Why?

Because they can fly and it’s like a predator, and it can see pretty well. And it’s the symbol of the U.S.

But the movie’s in Canada.

You didn’t say anything about that, dad!

What do you think it means that she’s turning red? Do you think there’s more meaning there?

Red...? She’s angry, and most of the time she turns into a panda when she’s angry.

What do you think kids will like the most about the movie?

Uhh...the giant mom at the end!

Was the movie funny?

Yeah.

Did you like the animation?

Yeah.

Is there anything else you want to say about the movie?

No.

Rating: [thinks really hard] Ask for like seven percent back. Or maybe five percent back. Because overall it’s a really good movie, but there are some minor quibbles.

Quibbles? Is that what you said?

Mmhmm. I can’t remember their names.

 

“Raya and the Last Dragon” - Has it been so long?

I am so happy to watch a new movie that is not Oscar bait (though I’m still happy about those) and not called Wonder Woman 1984. I’m also a sucker for fantastical quest movies, so all this movie had to do was not be, well, Wonder Woman 1984. Low bar, I know. It did get a little dicey at times like, early in the film when exploding farts became a thing, or later when a baby threw his own diaper at someone’s face. But, I let those go because the dragon was endearing and the other characters were the familiar ragtag bunch of misfits that always make quest movies fun. Mostly, it’s just been so long since a fun blockbuster-type movie came out, especially one that wasn’t a soul-crushing disappointment, that farts and diapers were almost welcome. I know another movie that could have used some of that.

And now, as always, the thoughts of the movie’s target audience, my eight-year old son.

What was the last new movie you saw?

The last new movie I saw was *thinking* I don’t even remember. Oh wait…was it…Godmothered?

I think you are right. How happy are you to see a new movie?

Pretty happy.

The new movie is Raya and the Last Dragon. What was you first thought after watching it?

I thought about what the genres were.

What are the genres?

Adventure. Fantasy. And did I say comedy? It was actually pretty funny.

Let’s start with the comedy. What was funny about it?

There was one joke when Raya found Sisu at the end of the river and she made this funny joke. I don’t remember what it was, but it made sense.

Who is Sisu?

She’s like this dragon. The last dragon that ever lived. She can swim fast and we she holds the dragon gems she gets another power from her siblings. One power was she could turn into a human.

Does she spend more time as a dragon or a human?

A human.

Do you think that was good or should she have stayed a dragon the whole time?

It was good because she could hide as a human so people wouldn’t capture her. And Kumandra needs dragons.

What is Kumandra?

Kumandra is where all of the people were one big city, but now they’re all enemies.

Why does Kumandra need dragons?

Because dragons brought them water and stuff and plants and good food.

What is the adventure part of the movie?

They have to try to make Kumandra back to Kumandra. So they have to get all the enemies back to Kumandra.

Who is they?

Raya and her friends.

Tell me about Raya and her friends.

There’s this big dude. I don’t remember what his name was, but he is huge and buff. And there is this little kid that works at a hibachi restaurant on a boat in the middle of the river. There’s Sisu, obviously. Raya (I said Raya, right?). And the baby ninja who is in charge of the monkeys.

Sounds like a really funny group.

Told you - the movie is funny.

How are Raya and her friends going to bring back Kumandra?

They have to get back, well, in the beginning of the movie, the dragon gem broke. To bring Kumandra back, they have to find the pieces and connect the gem back into a ball again.

What happened when the gem broke?

There are these purple monster thingies that if they touch people, the people turn to stone. The purple monster thingies are like ten feet tall and ten feet wide and are walking, slimy, jello things.

So, they have to put the gem back together before the purple monsters turn everyone to stone?

Yes.

If all they have to do is put the dragon gem back together, why do they need a dragon? Why do they need Sisu?

I said it, but I just lost it.

It’s okay. Who are all the enemies in the movie?

Fang. Spine. Tail. I can’t remember the other one. But everything is around a big river shaped like a dragon, so all the places are named after body parts.

Who broke the dragon gem?

The princess of Fang.

Is she also a main enemy?

Yes. Everyone is kind of enemies, but they have to friend each other like in a video game.

Is that how they make Kumandra?

Yes. They make friends, build a better team, and do jobs.

Who is your favorite character in the movie?

The ninja baby and the monkeys. Because it’s a baby and why not?

What was your favorite part of the movie?

Hmmm. That was a good question. It is *thinking* *rolling around on the couch* when they find Sisu and when she makes a ton of good jokes that adults and kids understand. Therefore, it’s a amazing. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Were there any parts of the movie you didn’t like?

Not really.

Was any part of the movie too scary for kids?

No. It’s an animation movie.

Animation can still be scary. Do you think young kids might be scared by ten-foot tall, purple jello monsters that turn people into stone?

Yeah, no. Unless their parents dress up as one and chase their kids.

That would be scary. Overall, what did you think of the movie?

It was pretty good. Pretty funny. Pretty adventure-y. Pretty fantasy-y.

Rating: If the movie were twenty bucks, I would ask for no money back because a lot of kids would really like it and it’s meant for kids to watch.

“Over the Moon” - It’s sort of a myth.

After the very excellent Klaus last year, I was hoping for a good follow up from Netflix in Over the Moon. By the end of the film, I found myself explaining to my son what is a MacGuffin and why the plot’s urgency makes no sense (the antagonist says she has until a specific time to find the gift, but was not bothering to look for the gift nor did she bring the protagonist to help find it). In other words, the plot is a giant mess, even for a fairy tale. But I will let me son tell you more.

What movie are we reviewing today?

Over the moon.

What is it about?

A girl who tries to convince her dad or give proof to her dad that a space lady named Chang’e exists on the moon. And she builds a rocket to get up there, and makes a lot of friends, and can’t get back.

Why does she want to prove that Chang’e is real?

It’s to keep her dad still in love with her mom…I thiiiiiiiiink?

What happened to her mom?

She died.

Aw, that’s sad. Who is Chang’e?

Chang’e is a space girl who lost her true love and was on the moon and stays there with a rabbit.

A rabbit?

Yes.

What does the rabbit do?

It’s just like a henchman….a hench..rodent?

What is the girl’s name who tries to find Chang’e?

I forgot.

[Mom injects] Fei Fei.

Oh yeah!

Isn’t the story of Chang’e just a fairy tale?

Some say yes, and some say no. Like, it’s sort of a myth.

What culture is it a myth from?

I think it’s Chinese..??

If you had to compare the myth of Chang’e to something in American culture, what does it remind you of? Is there an American myth similar to what we watched?

I don’t think so.

Did you like the story?

Yes. Wait, just of Chang’e?

Yes.

Yes, I liked the….I don’t know.

When Fei Fei goes to the moon, does she really go to the moon?

The movie doesn’t really show us that. At the end it’s a fade out to black.

Do you think it’s good or bad that they don’t tell us?

If they show that it’s a dream, I think it would make the movie a little better because it would make sense a little better.

What other characters are there?

There’s Fei Fei’s dad….there’s the [air quotes] brother….the [air quotes] brother’s mom…the brother’s pet frog….that weird THING that sings a song to Chang’e.

What is Fei Fei’s plan to prove Chang’e is real?

She goes to the moon, and she brings a camera and she tries to get a picture of Chang’e to prove to her dad.

And what does Chang’e want in return?

THE GIFT. DUN DUN DUNNNN.

Does she tell Fei Fei what the gift is?

No. DUN DUN DUNNN.

So, how does Fei Fei know what she’s looking for?

I don’t know. She just finds it.

Well that’s convenient.

What does conveeeenyent mean?

It means she doesn’t have to work hard for what she’s getting. What did you like about the movie?

I liked that there was cooking.

Cooking? Who was cooking?

Their entire family.

Whose family?

Fei Fei’s entire family?

What were they cooking?

Moon cakes!!

Did you want to eat moon cakes after the movie?

Maybe.

Did you want to cook moon cakes after the movie?

Maybe.

What was your least favorite part of the movie?
Ummm…I think my least favorite part of the movie is when they were on leap frogs.

What do you mean on leap frogs?

On the moon.

There were leap frogs on the moon?

According to the movie, yes.

Is that part of the myth of Chang’e?

No.

Who was your favorite character in the movie?

What’s the bunny’s name?

[mom injects] Bunjee.

Is that the rabbit that’s on the moon with Chang’e?

No, there’s a different rabbit that’s green that’s on the moon, but Bunjee is a different rabbit that is Fei Fei’s pet. But I know the “brother’s” pet frog has a name too, but I forgot. Every time you say “brother” you have to do quotes.

Tell me about the music.

The music was pretty good. I liked the music. There were a couple songs that I dind’t like. One was the glowy thing thing. And Chang’e’s voice is a voice in Hamilton - Eliza.

And she’s a good singer, isn’t she?

She IS.

If you could change one thing about the movie, what would you change?

I wouldn’t necessarily change, I would add.

What would you add?

I would add if you find out if it’s a dream or not.

In summary, did you like it or did you not like the movie.

It was a medium.

Rating: Let’s say you paid $20 to see that movie, how much would you ask back?

$4 because I think it could have been a little better. With the ending and part of the music.