"Resident Evil" - Never thought I would see the day.

My first memory of the Resident Evil video game franchise goes all the way back to my college years. I was in a friend's dorm room seeing a Sony PlayStation for the first time. There were half a dozen or so of us and we were there to play Resident Evil 2. We started up the game, shut off the lights, and proceeded to be wildly entertained and more than a little freaked out at what proceeded on the TV. It was awesome. That is the moment I was hooked on both the Resident Evil games and PlayStation in general.

Since that day, there have now been eight Resident Evil films made. In terms of quality, they've ranged from kind-of-not-terrible to oh-dear-god-not-like-that. I'll let you decide which is which. Regardless, I think you'll agree that the expectations going into this second reboot (and eighth film) of the franchise (I had no idea there was a previous reboot attempt until ten seconds ago) are properly set at please-just-don't-suck. And, holy cow did it definitely not suck.

Clearly, director/writer Zach Cregger had a very similar experience with Resident Evil games as I did. I'll admit that my recollection of the previous movies is really fuzzy, but I recall them focusing way too much on the underlying plot. You know, the Umbrella Corporation's genetically modified virus getting out of their labs and turning people into zombies and other assorted monsters. While they got that story mostly right, that isn't why people loved those games. We loved them because they scared us while we played them. We loved the various little puzzles we had to solve to move forward in the game. We loved the blood splatter when dispatching monsters. We even loved how we had to ration ammunition for the weapons our characters found, practically squealing with glee every time we found a box of shotgun shells. And after watching Cregger's Resident Evil film, it's obvious he loved those things as well.

The quickest way to describe this new film is it made me feel like I was in that dorm room again. We're watching a character on the screen trying to solve various little puzzles while dodging or killing zombies and monsters on his way to a final destination. Specifically, Bryan (Austin Abrams) is a courier for hospitals and is assigned with taking a life-saving item to the Raccoon City hospital. That's it. That's the entire plot.

Any fan of the games will recognize this structure. Again, that’s why we liked the games. We’re everyone in the dorm watching the person with the controller get Bryan to the final destination. To get there, Bryan has to go through a farm house, a dark tunnel filled with cars, sewer systems, alleys, and the hospital itself. Bryan has to find ammo for a shotgun, a semi-automatic rifle, and pistol, all guns he discovers along the way. He’ll have run-ins with people who are definitely monsters and a handful of survivors who may not survive much longer. There’s even a typewriter. Did Bryan ever find an ink ribbon for it so he could save his game? Who cares!?

If it wasn’t enough that Cregger absolutely nailed capturing the feeling of the game, he even managed to weave a perfect amount of comic relief through the film. The biggest mistake earlier films in the franchise made was taking themselves way too seriously. Much like Cregger’s previously film Weapons, Resident Evil has sequences where the tension builds to boiling, then a perfectly timed line or sight gag defuses it just enough to let the audience breathe. And it’s doubly important in Resident Evil because the jump scares are plentiful. I know it’s the most used trope in the horror genre, but I’ll be damned if every single jump scare in Resident Evil works. The crazy thing is they work even when we’re expecting them.

While I’m geeking out over every part of this film, let me recognize how well Abrams carries this entire film. For the vast majority of it, he’s the only person on screen. He delivers exactly the right performance for an every-man just trying to survive the night. Well done, good sir. Now find that ink ribbon so you don’t lose your progress.

Rating: Don’t ask for any money back. Not only is it the best Resident Evil movie, it’s one of the best movies of the year.