“Captain America: Brave New World” - A much needed reset.

Are you ready for the full return of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) to a theater near you? It’s been well over a year since the release of The Marvels and sitting through three crappy Sony Spider-Verse movies made it feel like ten years. To be fair, Deadpool & Wolverine is also an MCU movie and it was freaking amazing. But it’s also not one that had any interest in pushing forward whatever the overarching storyline is that’s leading us to the next Avengers movie. In fact, does anyone know what is the overarching storyline? This is why the MCU needed to return.

But the MCU needs to return with some sort of coherence and clarity on that overarching storyline. That’s where Captain America: Brave New World comes in. With the Infinity Stones and Thanos in the past, what new MacGuffins will we get and who is the supervillain that is chasing them? Brave New World doesn’t reveal the supervillain, but the first MacGuffin is a new super-metal called adamantium. Before you correct me that adamantium isn’t new, it is to the MCU. Before you correct me again, Deadpool & Wolverine occurs in a different branch of the multiverse than the rest of the MCU. Yes, I’m aware I’m a nerd.

Brave New World opens with Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), a.k.a. Captain America, a.k.a. Falcon intercepting an illegal sale of some stolen adamantium. Along for the ride is his sidekick, Joaquin Torres (Danny Ramirez), a.k.a. Falcon, a.k.a. Robin. Ok, so Wilson doesn’t go by Falcon anymore, despite still featuring his advanced falcon wings and jetpack. And Torres doesn’t go by Robin because this isn’t a Batman movie.

The adamantium comes from the dead celestial sticking out of the Indian Ocean. You remember the celestial, right? From Eternals? You don’t? That’s okay - I don’t blame you for expunging that garbage film from your memory. Luckily, you don’t need to know any of the backstory. Just know that freshly elected President Thaddeus Ross (Harrison Ford) is negotiating a treaty to share mining rights to the adamantium with the rest of the world. You remember Thaddeus Ross, right? A U.S. military general from multiple previous MCU movies? No? That’s okay - William Hurt will haunt you from his grave for forgetting him so quickly after his passing (less than three years ago in March 2022).

The plot of this movie has nothing to do with adamantium. It’s actually about Dr. Samuel Stearns (Tim Blake Nelson) seeking revenge against Ross for imprisoning Stearns and lying about setting Stearns free if Stearns helped Ross win the Presidency. Captain America and Robi…er, Falcon try to stop Stearns. Simple, right?

One of the issues bogging down recent MCU movies is how convoluted the plots were getting, with the fate of the world/galaxy/universe/multiverse always being at stake. Brave New World smartly scales back all of the grandeur to deliver a basic political thriller. That’s not to say Stearns’ revenge plan isn’t somewhat convoluted, but that’s how the villain’s plan is in every James Bond, Mission: Impossible, and Tom Clancy movie. And refreshingly, the climax doesn’t feature a sky beam or spaceships or every superpowered being in the universe facing off. It’s just Cap vs. Red Hulk at the end.

The film also features some really good performances. Mackie’s Wilson continues to evolve, embracing the role of Captain America as an inspiration for people, while not letting the fame and power go to his head. Ford does the late-Hurt proud by pushing Ross into a conciliatory frame of mind, while still maintaining Ross’ hard-nosed attitude. The supporting actors are nearly as good, from Shira Haas as an ass-kicking former black widow and current security chief for Ross...to Nelson’s very convincing angry, yet calculating Stearns...to Carl Lumbly’s emotional performance as Wilson’s friend Isaiah Bradley...to Giancarlo Esposito clearly having a blast letting loose and chewing scenery as a lethal mercenary called Sidewinder. Even Ramirez’s uneven and campy performance worked in a holy-vibranium-wings-Captain kind of way.

While some will find things to complain about, it’s safe to ignore them. Brave New World feels like a really good reset to the MCU while still feeling like a Marvel movie. True, it doesn’t have the feel of a big, bombastic, epic superhero movie, but that’s a good thing. It’s a movie that allows its characters to breathe again instead of swamping them with a hurricane of colors and action sequences. It pulls the comic relief back to subtle instead of Taiki-Waititi-pie-in-the-face levels. And, it points us back towards rebuilding the Avengers team, which is the reason we all showed up seventeen years ago to begin with. And if you’re a nerd like me, the mere mention of adamantium is enough to get you excited for where this is all heading. Adamantium, a.k.a. Wolverine, was arguably the best thing in Deadpool & Wolverine.

Rating: Don’t ask for any money back - it was the worth months-long wait.

“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” - The last, last, last crusade.

Dear Indiana Jones Fans,

First, we’d like to thank you for supporting Indiana Jones. Without fans like you, Dr. Jones’ rich world universe of movies, comic books, novels, video games, pinball machines, a television series, a theme park ride, a stunt show, and countless merchandise would not have been possible. Even if you aren’t aware that most of those things existed, we assure you that they are all real things, many of which at least several of you enjoyed.

We would also like to extend our sincerest apologies for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We didn’t want to make it either, but we signed a deal in the late 1970s with Paramount Pictures to make five Indiana Jones films. Paramount was upset that we titled the third film The Last Crusade and even more upset that it was an exceptionally good way to end a (sort-of) trilogy. They threatened to let Michael Bay write and direct two more if we didn’t do them, so you can see we really didn’t have a choice. Plus, they insisted we cast Shia LaBeouf and center the plot around aliens and CGI because Transformers was far more successful than they expected. Again, we are deeply sorry.

Luckily, Disney bought us in 2012. They were just as upset at Crystal Skull as you, noting that the wait time for their Disneyland theme park ride had dropped from seventy-five minutes to three minutes. Crowds for Epcot’s stunt show dwindled as well, in no small part due to a familiar-looking young man insisting the stunt show needed to incorporate swinging from vines. With Disney in control of our franchise rights, they told us to fulfill our contract to Paramount with a final movie respecting the heart of the franchise and that they did not know what a Mutt Williams was.

To show how much we appreciate your continued support of the franchise (especially the shockingly high $791 million box office), we present to you Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. We swear Dial of Destiny will be the last Indiana Jones movie. I know you’ve heard this before, but this time we really mean it. We even had Harrison Ford go on the record (NBC’s Today - May, 2019) saying “I’m Indiana Jones. When I’m gone, he’s gone.” Nineteen years passed between The Last Crusade and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, another fifteen years to Dial of Destiny, and Ford will be eighty-one years old next month. You do the math.

Dial of Destiny has all the things you love about Indiana Jones adventures. Jones using his bullwhip. Jones punching people. Jones pursuing an ancient relic/MacGuffin. Jones explaining the history and mythology of that ancient relic. Jones fighting Nazis. Jones riding a horse. Jones picking up his hat. Closeups of Jones’ hat. Jones lecturing a bunch of college students in a classroom. Jones driving a vehicle in a chase scene. We even used CGI to de-age Jones for an opening scene where he tries to recover a different ancient relic than the main story ancient relic. Oh...and Sallah (John Rhys-Davies) is there too.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t bring back everything you love. This is the first Indiana Jones movie that isn’t directed by Steven Spielberg. We left many, many (many) messages and, eventually, his assistant called us and said Steven was busy making a movie that Steven says will be THE defining biopic of cinema. Now that we are done making Dial of Destiny, we’re excited to have free time to watch Spielberg’s movie to find out which great person of history Spielberg pointed his camera at.

Dial of Destiny is also the first Indiana Jones movie not written by George Lucas. You’re welcome.

We think you’ll be happy to hear that James Mangold agreed to direct and help write the screenplay for Dial of Destiny. Mangold was nominated for Academy Awards for Best Director for Ford v. Ferrari and Best Adapted Screenplay for Logan, so rest assured Dial of Destiny was in good hands. In addition, Mangold brought with him Jez and John-Henry Butterworth - the writers of Ford v. Ferrari. Finally, we added David Koepp as a fourth writer, who has helped write many good movies (Jurassic Park, Spider-Man, Mission: Impossible), many other less good movies (The Shadow, Snake Eyes, The Mummy (2017)), and that he is very, very sorry he answered George Lucas’ phone calls while writing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

We’re also excited to tell you about the other main characters. Phoebe Waller-Bridge plays Indy’s goddaughter/archaeologist Helena Shaw, the daughter of Indy’s friend Basil (Toby Jones). Helena wants to find the ancient relic so she can sell it and she needs Indy’s help to get it. Waller-Bridge attacks her role with the same gusto as Karen Allen did in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She will quip and smirk and archaeology so much you’ll think she’s a female incarnation of Indy himself.

Opposite them, Mads Mikkelsen plays an evil Nazi scientist named Jurgen Voller and nobody does evil villain like Mikkelsen. Like every Indiana Jones villain, Voller wants the ancient relic for its mythical power in order to help the Nazis take over the world. Also like every Indiana Jones villain, Voller is very one-dimensional to ensure there is no chance you will ever sympathize with him.

Everything else we did with the movie, we did with you, the fans, in mind. In honor of the previous films, we put in a bunch of easter eggs. We added a fun kid sidekick, Teddy (Ethann Isidore), a Moroccan teenager who helps Helena. He is no Short Round and, now that we think about it, adds nothing to the story or events. But we couldn’t find a way that drinking blood, ripping hearts out, or surviving a fall from an airplane in an inflatable raft made sense in this movie, so we went with the kid. Also, Sallah is there.

We cast Antonio Banderas as Renaldo, a new “old” friend of Indy’s for a fun underwater diving scene. We refrained from using too much CGI and filmed a ton of practical effects in several locations around the world. We put in a gigantic henchman for Indy to fight. We even decided to finally show the full power of the artifact, which we feel was the one flaw in the first three movies. We just know you’ll love it the same way you love it when monster movies show the monster in the first act of the film.

In gratitude to you, we spent $295 million dollars to make certain Dial of Destiny is at least the fourth best Indiana Jones movie. You might even say the third best. We appreciate your forty years of devotion and hope you enjoy watching Dial of Destiny as much as we enjoyed making it. Even if you don’t, we think you’d agree that shouldn’t ask for more than eight dollars back.

Yours truly,

The Indiana Jones Franchise