Friday, September 26, 2025

“One Battle After Another” - Let me tell you how it’s not.

Early critical remarks on One Battle After Another are predictably calling it a “modern masterpiece.” Predictable because it’s the tenth feature film from director Paul Thomas Anderson and he’s one of those directors that get referred to as an “auteur” by people who can’t help but slobber all over his every film. And that’s fine. I’ve slobbered over my fair share of films, too and I’m guessing you have as well. Of course, I’ve never used the phrase “modern masterpiece” because I still have some dignity. And I certainly wouldn’t use it to describe One Battle After Another.

I’ve never seen any of Anderson’s films, so I have absolutely no opinion of his filmography. I’m certainly aware of all his films. I even had intentions to see a couple of them. So, you can trust that I have one of the least-biased opinions of One Battle After Another. And it’s...fine.

If you know me, you know I’m first and foremost a plot guy. The plot in this film is not tight. Not tight at all. The film begins by introducing us to a revolutionary group called the French 75. They free detained immigrants, blow up buildings, knock out the power to whole cities, and rob banks. Why are they doing this? Beats me. Best I came up with is “damn the man.” Eventually the authorities, led by Captain Lockjaw (Sean Penn), catch up with them, arresting or killing some of them while the rest escape and go into hiding. 

Sixteen years later and Lockjaw is back to finish the job. Actually, he’s looking for the girl he thinks might be his daughter. Back in the day, he was having an affair with one of the revolutionaries, Perfidia (Teyana Taylor), an affair that is the most unsettling film relationship since The Shape of Water. The problem is Perfidia was also in a relationship with fellow revolutionary Bob (Leonardo DiCaprio), so there’s a chance Bob is the father.

On top of that, Lockjaw is also trying to join the Christmas Adventurer’s Club, a Klan analogue that would definitely have an issue with Lockjaw having a mixed-race child. Lockjaw’s plan is to find and catch the girl, Willa (Chase Infiniti), and run a DNA test to determine if he’s the father. Keep in mind that Club racism and the French 75 have nothing whatsoever to do with each other. And in the present, French 75 is nothing more than a memory to a handful of people.

It's also notable that Perfidia abandoned Bob and Willa right after Willa was born and literally exits the movie before the sixteen-year jump forward, never to be seen or heard from again. This is one of the many creative decisions that I’m not sure how to feel about. On one hand, Perfidia is a terrible human being and I’m glad I didn’t have to spend the full two-hour-and-forty-one-minute runtime with her. On the other hand, it’s weird to introduce and focus so hard on such a colorful, explosive character only to drop her completely from the narrative.

Which brings me to my biggest question - what kind of movie is this supposed to be? And what message was it trying to convey? It's hard to tell what was more important to Anderson - the social commentary or the story. For example, Bob doesn't matter to the plot at all. The plot is to protect and rescue Willa, something that Bob never actually does. Bob spends most of his time running to evade his own capture while also trying to get to a rendezvous point to meet up with Willa and her protector, former French 75 member Deandra (Regina Hall). Bob never takes out a bad guy and is even captured at one point due to his own clumsiness. Take Bob out of the movie and everything that happened to Willa unfolds in exactly the same way. Bob’s only real importance to the movie is comic relief (we’ll come back to this in a moment).

The social commentary is just as disjointed as the story, but for a different reason - there’s so many different topics that none of them get enough attention to become the focal point of the film. What are we supposed to take away from the revolutionaries? Is immigration and the way immigrants are treated just a background prop or did it get two separate scenes for a real reason? Is abject racism funny or serious? Is the military corrupt or is it just a few bad apples? Is the government all controlling or wildly incompetent? This is why Bob is always smoking weed - there’s just too much to think about. Oh yeah, something about marijuana and alcohol abuse, too.

There are plenty of smaller details that just get dropped off the map, too. There are skills shown early that never come back to be used - Willa’s karate and Bob’s knowledge of explosives and electronics. For that matter, are we really supposed to believe that the ultra-paranoid Bob just forgot to booby-trap his own house? The same Bob that dug an escape tunnel under his house? The same Bob that ardently insists Willa always carry her little trust device to signal when a fellow revolutionary is near? Oh, and on the topic of that little trust device, I was certain it was going to start playing its music at some point during the climax to give Bob a helpful pointer. But nope. That would have made way too much sense. And if the French 75 was effectively disbanded sixteen years ago, why would their emergency hotline still be active? Oh right...comedy.

In between the seriousness of bombings, the military violently rounding up immigrants, school raids, riots, and murders, this film is also a comedy. Most of the comedy comes in laughing at Bob's ineptitude. To be fair, some of the comedy does land pretty well, serving to break up the frantic action. There is a long-running gag about a secret code that Bob can’t remember. Bob’s constant attempts to charge his phone while trying to evade capture also works quite well. Benicio de Toro also delivers some great lines as karate sensei/immigrant helper Sergio. Even Lockjaw provides comedic relief as a caricature of a neo-nazi who never turned down a proffered steroid.

But it's too much of a contrast in a movie where one of the revolutionaries is murdered by Lockjaw in the initial crackdown (we see the person's head get blown out). Where there's the grossest affair imaginable between Perfidia and Lockjaw. Where a mother abandons her family. Where soldiers are interrogating children at the school itself (really no parents or faculty anywhere?). It’s jarring and it was definitely intentional.

I recognize what Anderson was going for in this film, but it just didn’t land with me. I completely understand why it landed for other people though. If nothing else, the performances from the cast were excellent. Penn’s Lockjaw is exceptionally detestable. DiCaprio’s Bob is impossible not to feel sorry for, if not outright root for, despite Bob definitely not being worthy of it. Del Toro’s Sergio is absolutely delightful and easily the second-best character in the movie. The first best is Infiniti’s Willa, a force of nature like her mother, but very likeable, unlike her mother. But performances aren’t enough to completely cover for the meandering and sometimes chaotic plot and conflicting tones of the film. The performances are what make this movie just...fine. But modern masterpiece? Wipe the slobber off your chin.

Rating: Ask for seven dollars back because “just fine” is never worth full price.

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